- No epiphany
- Only Obsession here
- Impulsive
- Animal passion
- The inability to say “no.”
- Beyond addiction
- The foundation of addiction
- “The dweller in the threshold.”
- Genetic?
- Innate?
- Learned?
- Curable? … Doubtful!
- Controllable? – Possibly with Higher Willpower.
My obsession has been with pleasure, bliss and ecstatic experience. I am a hedonist for the most part. I have used drugs, climbing, dancing, and playing an instrument, sensory deprivation, isolation, biofeedback, dreams, breath and any other mind altering techniques that I have been introduced to or exposed to in my life, for creating blissful and ecstatic states of consciousness.
Though all obsessions may be psychologically unbalanced or unhealthy, some obsessions may be more or less detrimental to our physical health than others. Being obsessed with physical sports or study will only advance our knowledge and experience on the subject or techniques involved. Obsession on some level may create masterfulness at what we are obsessed with. Other obsessions, though, would be clearly detrimental to a healthy state or any advancement through self transformation. Being obsessed with substances that cause serious physical or mental health problems like opiates, stimulants or dissociative drugs is obviously not conducive to a balanced state, nor would an obsession to fasting or eating create a healthy condition. Choose your obsessions well!
If you are an obsessive/compulsive human, then you certainly are addicted to something. Whether we want to admit it to anyone or not, we can’t deny it to ourselves. It is only when we recognize in our minds and psyche, that we are doing something, or involved with it, just a bit ‘too much,’ that we begin to play a little mind game with ourselves. In this mind game we try to convince our self that our obsession with this ‘thing’ we are doing “is not a problem.” It is only when we recognize this thought process that we are able to disable the process from manifesting into an unhealthy condition. At that stage it would be foolish to continue to maintain the obsessive behavior, knowing that, by no doubt, it can hurt us and possibly cause us lasting harm. This voice is “The dweller in the threshold.” This is “the little devil and little angel” on our shoulders, the ones that are always speaking to us in our sub consciousness and conscience, the inner voice that is a part of us, yet not. This is a voice from somewhere deep inside of us, unavoidable and undeniable.
For some reason even the highly intelligent also fall prey to obsessions and addictions. Though I may not be so highly intelligent, I’m either intelligent and aware or conscious enough to at least realize I am a fool! I know that I at least have the capacity to be foolish, and therefore, I also have the capacity to learn from my mistakes (hopefully!), through that I may then gain a little wisdom…… maybe just a little. Through that wisdom I may gain a little control….. Maybe just a little? Better yet though, maybe I could gain a little power for exercising my higher will over my lower will, for maintaining the controls at all times…. Taking the power back from “The dweller in the threshold” ……and conducting my own orchestration.
Copyright K. Berman 2-22-2016